Parting

Patricia Chambers, known more by her pen name of Storm DeVille, my girlfriend of 23 years, passed away today after a two year battle with cancer.

Obviously, there’s a ton more I could say, and should say. I’m a bit at a loss for words right now, however.

She left this world the way she lived in it. On her terms, with no drama. She drifted away, and was gone, peacefully, quietly. The way she wanted. There was no more pain, no more suffering. Just a dignified passing, for someone who never took what was handed to her, and always fought to live on her terms.

Some of you have been around this silly blog long enough to know about all of this. A lot of you haven’t. So, this may come as a surprise to some that while I’ve been making snarky remarks in anime reviews, I was watching the love of my life slowly succumb to cancer.

Patricia wasn’t one for drama, or being in the spotlight. She would have hated the idea of this blog becoming a running commentary on her long walk to meet with death. She loved what it was. An odd mix of fiction, comic books, anime, and general sarcasm. Very early on, she made a point of telling me she didn’t want to see that change, and yes, I read her every post I made.

Her vision got really bad the last eight months, to the point she could not read them herself, so I continued on, reading her every word I wrote for this. To be honest, that’s a lot of what has kept this, and me, going these past couple years.

It made her smile.

There was nothing better in this world to me than that.

I’ve got a post scheduled to go up tomorrow, and one for Monday half written. I plan to finish it, and collect my thoughts to make a proper goodbye to her. While this whole blogging thing has long been little more than me nattering on about the things I love, usually with sarcasm, it would never feel right to me if Ididn’t take the time to properly talk about the one thing in this world I loved most of all, now that she can’t can’t tell me not to.

She hated being in the spotlight, but she loved it when I gave her a hard time. We had that kind of a relationship.

She was really special. I wish you guys could have known her.

I’m gonna go spend some time grieving, but I’ll be okay.

She was at peace at the end. That’s all I could ever hope for, or want. So, it hurts, but I’ll be okay.

She made me strong enough to be okay.

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19 thoughts on “Parting

  1. My condolences your loss man. She sounds like an amazing, brave and strong person and I wish I could’ve gotten to know her as well. I also have to say that I am impressed, heart warmed and filled with hope by your courage and way of dealing with this, its both touching and it honors the person you lost in the best way, the most personal way that you can honor her by.

    Good luck on the healing man, Its certainly going to be tough, but like you said, I think you’ll be okay even if definitely changed and different. Take care of yourself man! Looking forward to hearing from you again when you get back.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Heya man. The last couple of years, as she fought this battle, I drifted away, didn’t I? Sorry about that. Life kinda ran away with me.

      Thank you, so much. I do appreciate it, and all you have done for me. These last couple years just kinda bowled me over. I’m looking to find my footing again, somehow.

      Just may take me a while.

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  2. I saw this post over on Facebook, and even though I am on a blogging hiatus right now, I just had to say a few words. Having followed your blog for more than a year now, and having you seen battling together with your girlfriend was both at times very heartbreaking but at the same time awe inspiring. Your love for her showed in everything that you wrote and that at times made it so very painful to read. Having been alone for almost my entire life I can only imagine what this loss must feel like. But I am glad to read that she now is without pain and went peacefully. I wish I had known her, because she truly sounds like an amazing and truly wonderful soul.
    But how could she not be, as she fell in love with you another person that totally redefines the word amazing. For now, take all the time you need to grief. I could say cliche things like in time things will get better and stuff like that, but I am not going to do so. What I am going to say though is that she will live on: through your amazing blog posts, your memories of her, and all the love that you will for always hold in your heart. Even though I am currently away from WordPress, I always make time for my friends, so if you want to talk always feel free to message me either on twitter or on Facebook messenger.
    Take care my friend, and I wish you all the strength in the world to get through your grief.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you ,man. It’s been hard, and every day still is a challenge, but I know, if I faltered now, she’d kick my ass.

      I’m finding my way, somehow, but I admit, I am not in the greatest of places. Probably be a while before I am again.

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  3. I know you’ve been preparing for this for a long time, but I’m sure no amount of time ever feels like enough to prepare for the loss of a loved one. There isn’t anything I can really say to make it any better either, but if there’s anything you want to say, you know that we are all here to listen.

    I’m glad to know that she went peacefully. You’re right in saying that’s all anyone could ask for. I hope the time you take to grieve gives you some peace of mind as well. Right now, you don’t owe anything to anyone else. Just take your time and do your best to be okay, as I’m sure she wanted you to do.

    And because I know you need reminding, I’m telling you again that we’re here. You have ways to reach out to me directly, so please do use them if you feel at all like you need it.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you.

      I am slow to get to things right now, but I will. I feel lost a lot, and I admit, there’s times I’m not sure what to do, or say, but I haven’t forgotten that you’re there, man.

      I’m just stumbling my way through this right now.

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  4. I hurt for and with you, but am comforted in knowing that without the hindrance of earthbound weakness Storm/Patricia will be stronger than ever as she stays at your side and continues to strengthen you. Take care good friend!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Knowing just how much love you hold for Storm, this breaks my heart for you. I have no more words other than I wish you all of the time, comfort, and strength that you need to grieve.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Sometimes, there are no words. We just do the best we can, with the ones we have, and hope the meaning gets across. Thank you, for yours, and for taking the time to be here. I do appreciate it. She would have, too.

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